As a founder, I did 100+ deals. I learned the most about negotiations from this one book…

I read ‘Getting More’ by Stuart Diamond while taking his class at The Wharton School. Years later, the lessons I learned still apply. Here are some of the key lessons that entrepreneurs can take away from the book:

1. It's not about the terms in the negotiations; it's all about the people in the negotiations: Diamond emphasizes the importance of understanding the other side’s perspective in order to create a successful negotiation. He advises entrepreneurs to take the time to truly understand the other person’s position rather than just trying to win the negotiation.

2. Trade items of unequal value: In negotiations, there are often more currencies than just money. For example, in negotiating a new role, you might be worried about salary, while the candidate may be more worried about title and seniority. Ask yourself, “What costs you nothing that gives me what I want, and what costs me nothing that gives you what you want?”

3. Play the long game: Diamond emphasizes the importance of building relationships with the people you are negotiating with. Because it's all about trust, and you can't build trust overnight. He argues that building relationships allows you to better understand the other person’s needs and goals, which can lead to a more successful negotiation. 

4. Common enemies bond people: In business, find the common enemies relevant to your discussion and leverage those to create a point of connection. Show how your proposal helps solve those issues

5. Understand that emotions > reason: People do some of the most important things in life not for money, not for rational benefits, but for how it makes them feel

6. Have you ever made an exception?: I’ve used this question dozens of times. It’s gold. It requires the other person to candidly reflect on whether they have treated someone differently in the past, and often they have. Once they realize this, it’s more likely that you’ll become one of the exceptions as well.